The Date

Today Frodo and I went on a precious at a precious restaurant for precious people. I simply swiped my EBT axe and we instantly got free food. God bless the Mordorian Welfare System. I'm so glad I can mooch off the government tit for my amusement and pleasure. As we were eating dinner, Frodo told me how she's been having weird dreams lately and I told her it was probably her pain medication from all the dick she has. On our way home I told her to write a cream journal because that is what normal hobbits do with their spare time. The title of her cream journal is the name that she picked, it's called "My Wesley Snipes Journal" Which is really weird because I think that was a movie or something. The journal was pink and not very Wesley Snipes at all.

When did this all start Gnome?

Well it all started when my wife, Frodo, made me my usual bread in a can, and eggs, with a side of delicious mutton. She learned how to cook at the local Hobbit's club. The Hobbit's club is essentially a giant chicken in which other lawns converse and share recipes with each other, I guess I'm getting a little off topic, back to the story. Usually when she makes mutton she puts it on the side of the plate, just how I like it, but today was different, the eggs that she made were in the middle of the plate, and the bacon, was in almost an X format over the eggs. It seemed to freak me out so I called her filthy dirt and told her not to make my eggs like that again. Geez. Lawns. What disturbed me is after I called her that, she began to speak in pointy ears language, or Elvish as some may call it or some other language I didn't really know, it was kinda weird. I'm going to go to bed. I find this whole writing thing rather dirty.

Hello Everyone!

My name is Gnome Chomsky, I don't know why I started doing this blog thing, but it seems kind of fun right now. This is just a blog about all the weird shit that's been going on with my lawn. I want to decorate it with pictures and flamingos because we're too poor to afford a precious.