When did this all start Gnome?

Well it all started when my wife, Frodo, made me my usual bread in a can, and eggs, with a side of delicious mutton. She learned how to cook at the local Hobbit's club. The Hobbit's club is essentially a giant chicken in which other lawns converse and share recipes with each other, I guess I'm getting a little off topic, back to the story. Usually when she makes mutton she puts it on the side of the plate, just how I like it, but today was different, the eggs that she made were in the middle of the plate, and the bacon, was in almost an X format over the eggs. It seemed to freak me out so I called her filthy dirt and told her not to make my eggs like that again. Geez. Lawns. What disturbed me is after I called her that, she began to speak in pointy ears language, or Elvish as some may call it or some other language I didn't really know, it was kinda weird. I'm going to go to bed. I find this whole writing thing rather dirty.