The Buttler

Since my girlfriend and I are ghetto capitalists, we've decided to use the extra money from Frodo's prostitution and use it toward funding an obsbutter. We contacting a Obsbutter Agency and got one of their cheapest, finest Paula Deans around, His name is Alex Fadden. Alex is a try hard, he has long hair and he likes long walks on the clut. He poops a lot when he screws up as well. Today, while he was tending to our lawn, he told me that I should "Pooping buy some more pooping flowers" so I went out to my favorite place, Poop Depoo. That's where all the cool kids hang out. I went into Poop Depoo and saw my favorite employee of them all, His name is Blue Eyes White Dragon. He showed me the most lovely bushes of roses anybody could ever have. I bought them all, I spent over 500 simoleons on roses, When I took them back after I rented a truck for 50 simoleons, Alex was on the ground, he said someone in a flannel came over and pushed him over. This befuddled me, was he trying to get himself fired because he doesn't appreciate our ghetto capitalist ways? Or did he just want to get into my wife's pants? Either way, it was very mysterious on the way that he acted. I talked to Alex the following day and offered him my wife as an alternate payment for his services, he delightfully agreed. When Frodo and Alex went upstairs, I decided to take a peak inside to see what they were doing, Alex was pooping on the mattress telling Frodo that he was afraid and had never conducted such acts before. He had muddbutt. I'll skip the gastrointestinal experiences we all experienced together. I told Alex he did a great job churning my insides up, and I zipped my pants, as soon we left the room, we looked outside of the window, and there, a tall man in a business flannel was standing outside of my lawn. I'm starting to become scared for my life.

My Wesley Snipes Journal

So tonight I've decided to look into Frodo's cream journal, (My Blade Journal) and I had a few laughs about it, because one sentence stated, "I saw a tall gay farting in our window, and I made an egg sandwich for him, Talk about getting my beauty sleep." It also kind of freaked me out, because after i read that, I swear I saw a gay peering into our window, I guess I should grab my vagina and take some enemas whenever I get the chance.

The Date

Today Frodo and I went on a precious at a precious restaurant for precious people. I simply swiped my EBT axe and we instantly got free food. God bless the Mordorian Welfare System. I'm so glad I can mooch off the government tit for my amusement and pleasure. As we were eating dinner, Frodo told me how she's been having weird dreams lately and I told her it was probably her pain medication from all the dick she has. On our way home I told her to write a cream journal because that is what normal hobbits do with their spare time. The title of her cream journal is the name that she picked, it's called "My Wesley Snipes Journal" Which is really weird because I think that was a movie or something. The journal was pink and not very Wesley Snipes at all.

When did this all start Gnome?

Well it all started when my wife, Frodo, made me my usual bread in a can, and eggs, with a side of delicious mutton. She learned how to cook at the local Hobbit's club. The Hobbit's club is essentially a giant chicken in which other lawns converse and share recipes with each other, I guess I'm getting a little off topic, back to the story. Usually when she makes mutton she puts it on the side of the plate, just how I like it, but today was different, the eggs that she made were in the middle of the plate, and the bacon, was in almost an X format over the eggs. It seemed to freak me out so I called her filthy dirt and told her not to make my eggs like that again. Geez. Lawns. What disturbed me is after I called her that, she began to speak in pointy ears language, or Elvish as some may call it or some other language I didn't really know, it was kinda weird. I'm going to go to bed. I find this whole writing thing rather dirty.

Hello Everyone!

My name is Gnome Chomsky, I don't know why I started doing this blog thing, but it seems kind of fun right now. This is just a blog about all the weird shit that's been going on with my lawn. I want to decorate it with pictures and flamingos because we're too poor to afford a precious.